COMMON QUESTION POSED TO COBRA: “Stranger kidnappings are rare – most times child abuse happens from someone you know. So how do you prepare your child for that? As parents, how do we tell our kids that it might be somebody that they know that is unsafe?
In this regard, one of the most important things we recommend for families is a “no secrets” policy.We are parents, too. And you will never hear us say to our kids, “don’t tell”.
Surprises are different, obviously, such as birthday plans and Christmas gifts. But there should be NO SECRETS within your family in relation to people, their behavior and actions.
Teach your children that, if anybody ever asks them to keep a secret, they should tell mum or dad right away. You not only need to TELL them this, but also PROVE IT. So if your children go to you with something, even the hard stuff, do not not react and give them a hard time about it. Anytime kids go to you with something (maybe her friend did something wrong or she did something wrong, or he saw something he wasn’t supposed to see on TV or YouTube), try really hard not to overreact. We know it’s difficult! But your kids need to feel safe to go to you.
We also suggest you teach your children about boundaries. Every single day. Talk about boundaries in your house, and specifically tell kids that they can enforce boundaries with anybody, even family, even friends. Then model to them through your actions that you enforce boundaries, even with family. This bit can be harder said than done. But it’s important, and it will only lead to better and healthier relationships in the long term.
One “secret” is too many. And one child is too many.
Help your child learn important lessons like this at our COBRA Child Safety and Self Defense Course. Contact me today to book a 1-on-1 or family training course.
